yesterday i met kyoya. we’re going to fuji and tezuka’s apartment. ichigo and iruka would be there too. but first, i was meeting kyoya.

i was half and hour late! so i ended up apologising for quite a while. kyoya pretended that he didn’t care, but every now and then he would say something subtle that pointed to my fault. “let’s just eat and go straight up to the apartment.” kyoya would say, “it’s too late to stop at mcdonalds for ice cream now.”

i wanted ice cream! but i nod and said, “sorry.” because it was my fault that it was too late.

but after dinner, when we got there, tezuka was sleeping in his room and fuji wasn’t home yet. i let kyoya in because i have an extra set of keys. we sit in the living room and waited for everyone to come.

and then kyoya kissed me. nya…. and then he said, “i bet you missed that.” nya…. i can’t believe i’m talking about this online. nya…

i was happy.

“i think tamaki might be at my old place.” kyoya typed when we were on msn this morning. “the area might have looked familiar to him.”

“maybe he missed you.” i wrote back.

“that’s what i thought…he decided to go look for me….then again why would he wanna look for me? to get a beating?” kyoya replied.

i imagine tamaki sitting forlornly under kyoya’s apartment… but unknown to him, kyoya has already moved back to his family’s home. i wonder if tamaki’s sense of direction can manage such a feat, “can tamaki cross the road safely?” i asked.

“maybe he just dashed across.” kyoya reasoned, “anyway, i’ll drive down on thursday or friday and we can look together.”

yesterday night, i dreamt that tamaki came home. kyoya had a dream too:

“i dreamt that i saw a black deformed cat on the street while riding a bus…thought it was tamaki…and then i looked at his foot and realized it wasn’t him…cos his feet were made of turtles….”

i wonder what that could mean?

my cat, tamaki has left. i don’t dare count how many days since he left his new pretty red collar in front of our garden. mama and papa found the collar when they came home. the bright red tiny bell on it is crushed.

we looked, we called, his food is still in his bowl. but he hasn’t come back.

sure, he’s spoilt, sometimes sulky, does ridiculous things, loud, attention-seeking, troublesome, and expects the entire family to fall on our knees and open the doors for him, massage him, give him treats, and pet him at his every whim. but that’s the cute thing about his character too.

i asked kyoya, “what if tamaki doesn’t come back?”

but kyoya only got intense and said, “that tamaki! how could he be so irresponsible! don’t talk to me about him. i’m still mad at him.”

i want to say “but tamaki is just a cat…” but i don’t dare.

fuji asked me the other day when we were walking home, “eiji, when would you consider tamaki truely gone forever?” and i want to cry and say, “never! tamaki will always live in eiji’s heart!”

but i’m afraid fuji would laugh at me and say i’m emotional or naive, so i say, “i guess if tamaki doesn’t come home before i move to my new place…”

tamaki… please come home, you’re too silly to take care of yourself. and everyone is worried.

yesterday i uploaded my first chapter on fanfiction.net. it’s been a long time since i’ve been there so i was really nervous. i kept thinking, “what if they don’t like me?” the characters in the categories i used to write in (prince of tennis & naruto) have been warping in a way i don’t fully recognize or understand anymore. but i received my first review today.

yah! my first review – and it’s a frameworthy one from kaga-san:

“You have a very, very,evil sense of humor. Love your story”

hee hee hee… she thinks i’m evil. i’m so happy.

i meant to say something sparkling and clear – the type of thing you read and suddenly feel refresh. but now that i have a chance to actually make literary history (or simply make a point), i find myself quite tired from the hours i’ve spent… choosing the template to use for my blog.

i only finally settled on this one because i liked the green grass and how it makes me feel like i’m lying down and watching the sky.